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Take the Memory Quiz

            Understand the signs of dementia

Do you have trouble communicating because common nouns like son and money are drowned out by neuronal static? When interviewed on the TV news, do you sometimes say peace-loving though you mean war-adoring?

In grabbing a bite at the Ambrosia coffee shop, do you grossly over- or under-tip, no longer able to compute or keep track of growing income inequality? Does the tagline "Let them work longer" repeat in your head like a tape loop until it loses all meaning?

Have your loved ones observed drastic changes in your personality, sometimes on a daily basis? Do you habitually send doctors and medical supplies in the evening to a stricken city your weapons decimated that morning?

Does your paranoia encompass the goldfish in public ponds, who whisper about you sub-audibly? Do you monitor millions of phone calls a day in this fishbowl world? Are you fearful of silently mouthing atomic secrets while submerged in sleep?

Are you agitated and disoriented, lured by sirens to dire situations while also complaining that whistleblowers make an intolerable din? At night do you obsess about the leaks in pipes, counting the unstoppable countless drops?

Have you lost the ability to organize your finances and bills, hours and minutes, wishes, doctors' visits, and the clutter of personalities in your national character: dreamer, lover, killer, philanthropist, miser, humorist, bigot, entrepreneur, etc.

Do you suddenly awaken from sleep as an army, fully equipped and at war in a foreign country you can't remember invading?

--Philip Fried


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